This last Friday my in-laws took us to see the monster truck show at the Maverick Center in SLC. Before the show we got to walk around the pit and look at the trucks. I bought Leland a checkered flag (which he thought was awesome) and we had some of the drivers sign it. Leland was in boy heaven!
Justin and I were looking forward to this all week. But... you know how you build things up in your head and then life with kids happens? Ha ha yup! We thought Leland would be over the moon to watch these trucks- he is constantly begging to watch monster trucks on youtube and almost always has a monster truck toy in his hand. So this was the perfect outing right? Wrong. The trucks must have been too loud, even though we did bring ear protection, because once the trucks started revving their engines Leland started bawling! Poor kid was scared to death.
So. I spent a good twenty minutes in the women's bathroom trying to console my screaming toddler. Luckily he loved the motorcycle jumpers and the smaller truck races- but we definitely will not be doing that again until he is older. We are still a little perplexed by it all because he has been to demolition derby's and the motor race way, which are both extremely loud, but something about that scared the pants off the poor little guy. Oh well. Live and learn I guess, right?
Lucky for us we got some great photos from the night. It was a family adventure, so worth it in the end. The really funny part was how he kept yelling, "That was so much fun!" on the way to the car! haha thank heavens kids are resilient and don't scar for life easily.
A few months ago I decided that I needed to plan a mini getaway in February so that I could have something to look forward to and help me survive the January blues. I googled different things to do in Utah- and stumbled upon the ice castles in Midway. It was exactly what I was looking for! A place that we had never been, not too far from home, with reasonable prices, and something you could do with a toddler. Score!
Little did I know that the week leading up to our mini vay-cay was going to be an incredibly difficult week (see previous blog post for details). So it kind of came at the perfect time. Divine intervention made me choose that date? Who knows! But it was such a nice little getaway. I needed it so badly. With my husband working six days a week I sometimes feel like I am a single mom. Vacations like that are the only times I feel like I REALLY get QUALITY time with my family. I crave that.
We left on a Thursday and that night we hung out in the hotel room and watched movies after we found a cute mom and pop hamburger shop in town. We do not have TV at our house, so sometimes it is really nice to completely veg out in a hotel room and overload on television and eat lots of junk food. On Friday we spent the morning at the pool, took a nap, and then went to the ice castles that night. They were actually pretty cool! Leland was super excited to meet Anna and Elsa and they were so adorable with him. Elsa asked him for a hug and he shyly walked up to her, stared at her for a minute, and then threw his arms around her. It was precious! That whole night he kept repeating, "I have Elsa a hug Mom!" He was so excited, that was totally the highlight for him. The ice castle itself is like a corn maze, but with ice. There are lights that change color in the ice and it goes along with the music. There was a big water fountain in the center which completely mesmerized Leland.
After that we hit up the burger joint again, cause it was super yummy so why not, and then took a little drive around town to explore and see what there was. We left Saturday morning so even though it was a short trip, we had a very good time. I really like going to places I have never been before and just explore.
If you know me at all then you know that I feel BIG emotions. I am a very sensitive person. Growing up I always thought this was one of my greatest weaknesses, but as I get older, I think Heavenly Father considers it a strength. And if HE thinks it is a strength, then I better learn to love this quality about myself. It is not easy coming to love a personality trait that I have always despised. I am constantly wishing for thicker skin. But one thing that comes along with feeling big emotions, is the ability to have a lot of empathy for people. And empathy is a Christ-like trait. It can also be very emotionally taxing.
Sometimes I read stories on the news (we do not have TV so I follow all of the news channels on FB), and I feel so much emotion I can barely contain it. Like that dad who left his 18 month old in the car overnight in this freezing weather in just a diaper. I found myself wishing that there was a special place in hell reserved just for him. I find myself mourning with people that I have never met and it is hard to not drown in the sorrow of the world sometimes. A few weeks ago one of my cousin-in-laws lost her brother. And as I started telling Justin about it I began to cry. Not just cry. But ugly-cry, sobbing, gasping for breath. I think Justin was completely flabbergasted by the amount of emotion that was pouring out of me. Especially because this was a man that I had never even met. When he asked me why I was so upset I just started rambling, "Because think of everyone who is so sad about his death! So many people miss him and feel his loss. And he was so young and seemed like such a good man! And it makes me think of Zach (my brother) and how sad I would be if I lost him" and of course thinking about my own brother dying brought on a fresh wave of emotion. So sometimes this whole empathy thing turns me into a big goopy pile of hot mess.
This last week my cousin lost his life after a three year battle with leukemia. I regret that I didn't know this man better. After sitting in his funeral yesterday I learned more about his life and what an incredible spiritual strength he was. I mourned for his wife and three children. I mourned for his parents. I mourned for everyone who ever knew him, basically. I probably got to see him once a year, sometimes more, and he would always come up to me and call me by name and give me a hug. And although it wasn't much, it meant a lot to me. Especially because we have A LOT of cousins on the Paulsen side, but he made time for all of us. He made everyone feel special. He was a good man and he will be missed.
I felt completely emotionally drained after a day like yesterday. Crying is more exhausting than going to the gym! What is the point of this blog? I have no idea. I just have felt so many emotions this past week that I find myself sitting down at my computer and typing. Typing my thoughts. My feelings. My emotions. Today was ward conference and our bishop gave the most eloquent talk on holding strong to the Lord's commandments and our beliefs during life's storms. It was exactly what I needed to hear after a day like yesterday. The last song we sang was Battle Hymn of the Republic and it just filled my soul up with so much goodness. Why is it that a ward who barely sings during every song, practically shouts that one out?! It is amazing what that song does to a sleepy congregation! I love that song. I have a deep respect for my bishop- I know he is an inspired man. I am grateful that I have this firm foundation to cling to in the stormy weather of this world. I used to loathe Sundays. Now I love them. I feel so rejuvenated today. It has completely prepared me for another week. I feel blessed and happy and at peace.
If you ever need a crying buddy, or just a shoulder to cry on, you know who to call now! ;)
This is Gabe Adams. When I was in high school at Davis High his father was my seminary teacher. Brother Adams wanted his class to meet Gabe. He explained to us that the reason he did not have any limbs was because his birth mother took an abortion pill (illegal in the U.S.) while she was pregnant with Gabe. My seminary teacher had 13 kids of their own, but when they heard about Gabe, they knew they needed to adopt him. My seminary teacher shared a very spiritual experience with us- one that I don't feel right about posting over social media- but I will never in my life forget the day I met Gabe. He was then just five years old, and he was incredible. He climbed stairs with his chin, he could not only swim, but climb the stairs to the diving board and jump off. When he wasn't in his wheelchair he rolled around on the floor, maneuvering himself between the tiniest spaces. He let us all come up and touch his six pack- the kid was ripped! Pure muscle and not an ounce of fat!
It is amazing seeing him 12 years later accomplishing so much in his life. If anyone in this world has an excuse to not try scary things, it is this kid! But he doesn't let his missing limbs stop him from anything! He is such an inspiration to me. This kid is going places!!
One thing you may not know about my husband is that he is one of the luckiest guys I know! I can't even begin to count how many drawings he has won at Gossners, off of Facebook, or from the radio. If you are ever going to Vegas and need a good luck charm, he is your guy!
Last week he guessed the name of a song on the radio correctly and won four free tickets to the rodeo in Tremonton. Leland would be free so we took my MIL and FIL. It was seriously such a fun night. It felt so good to get out of Logan (even though Tremonton really isn't that far) and do something completely different in the winter time. Leland loved seeing all of the "horseys". His favorite event was the mutton busters and the barrel racing (a kid after my own heart). He said that the bull riding was too scary though haha. He was really good too... especially after I let him have a large chocolate chip cookie for dinner- weekend sugar doesn't count right?
I am my mother's daughter. I love rodeo's. The night Leland was born we were supposed to be at the Preston rodeo. We have gone to them as long as I can remember. They hold a special place in my heart and I hope it is a tradition that we can continue on with our own children.
One of the hardest parts about going to the gym for me is dropping my little monkey off in the daycare. We usually leave him crying and reaching for us and I walk down the hall feeling the worst mother ever. And then we go and pick him and he is all smiles and giggles and I think, Okay. This is good for him. And then we leave him again and its hard again and around and around in circles we go.
Well......
Last Friday we had a break-through. I was getting Leland dressed and he asked where we were going (because seriously, that is the only time we get dressed is if we are going somewhere). And I told him that we were going to the gym. And this was his response, "Oh to see my fwends? And I be brave and not cry and mommy will come back." haha oh, melt my heart. So true to his words, he walked in their like a champ that day with his head held high. As he walked away, he turned around, waved, and said, "Bye Mommy! See you later!" Phew. It was much easier leaving him that day.
When I went to pick him up I stood in the back and watched him play dinosaurs with a little girl. The dinosaurs were climbing mountains (the walls) chasing each other around the room, and roaring at each other. My mommy heart was a puddle that day. I have always worried that Leland doesn't get enough socialization in his life- so I really, really think this is a good thing for him too. Watching him laugh out loud and run around with other kids is exactly what this kiddo needs. He has a lot of anxiety sometimes and so it makes me proud to see him conquering some of his fears. Good job Buddy. Mommy is so proud of you!
This past Saturday I was able to join my Uzzie buddies in SLC for the Usborne regional training. It was a day full of motivational speakers, book reveals, friends, food, laughing, encouragement, idea-sharing, and so much more! Our V.P., Heather Cobb, was able to fly in from Tulsa, and she is such an incredible, inspiring woman! She talked to us a lot about failure, and that if we are not failing in life a little, we are probably doing something wrong. As someone who is constantly feeling like a failure and trying to overcome my fear of failure, I really needed to hear this.
It was such an amazing day! During these types of things they always say that you learn more about actually working this business talking to others, and not actually during the training. And I found that to be so, so true! After the official training, 25 UBAM ladies headed over to Cracker Barrel for dinner. I got SO many great ideas from the other three woman at my table, that were personalized to me and my business. It was so refreshing to talk with them and hear about their stories with this amazing business. We helped build each other up and shared our successes and ideas. All together a very, very uplifting day! Words can't even express how happy I am to have finally found my tribe. I love these fellow book ladies. I love this business.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from that day, followed by some pictures.
My very inspirational water bottle
Heather Cobb introducing us to THE CUTEST picture book in the history of ever!!!!!
Look how cool this pop-up garden book looks?!
Anne of Green Gables picture book? Say what??!!
The free books I got for going. Free books is the name of our game after all!
Our new catalog! I was super excited to get my hands on this puppy!
