A Working Momma

When I was going to college I always felt like I was preparing for a future that I didn’t want. A career was always my back up plan to being a stay at home mom. I felt like the only reason I was getting an education was for the ‘what if?’ in life. For example, what if my husband dies, leaves me, has a terrible accident (etc. etc. etc.) and I have to be the provider for our family? It was a dreary reason to be going to school to say the least. I didn’t want to work. I wanted to be home with my babies and that was that. Of course, I was saying this while working all of my crappy retail jobs. You know, the kind of jobs that are so miserable from day to day that they almost force you into college so that you don’t end up working there forever. Those were the days when going to work was a drag… each and every single day. I hated my coworkers, my hours, the job itself, the pay. Pretty much everything about it was barely tolerable. And then, miracle of all miracles, I got a job as a librarian. My dream job. A job where I look forward to going to work every single day. A job where I actually begin to miss my coworkers over the weekend. A job where I love what I do and feel good about doing it. It may sound cheesy or cliché or whatever, but there are days where I feel like I actually put a little good out into the world by doing what I do. It’s those times when I help a teenager who doesn’t really like to read find their new favorite book. When I help kindergartners find the books that they can learn to read in. The days when I get into book discussions with a patron and we share our recommendations with one another. These are the days that I cherish. The days that make my job worthwhile. My job gives me a sense of accomplishment. It is my reason to get up in the morning and get ready for the day. But have I worried about the affects my working would have on my son? Of course! Sometimes I worry that he won’t develop as fast as he needs to because I am not there everyday to teach him the new things that he needs to learn. Sometimes I worry that he will notice my absence and it will affect him negatively.  Let’s face it, being a mother is a big fat worry fest all of the freaking time. But there is not much I can do about it anywho. We simply do not have the means for me to stay at home. I may not contribute much to the family income, but it is enough to help put food on the table and pay the bills. But what if we could afford for me to stay at home? Would I want to? Would I make a huge sacrifice and quit my dream job for my children? The answer... probably not. Does that sound selfish? It probably does to some people out there. But let me explain. My entire life I have battled serious bouts of depression. I honestly worry that if I were a full time mom I would slip back into that depression very easily. I can imagine myself staying in my pj’s all day long, not showering, not putting on make up, and not doing my hair. That’s depressing. Plus I would most likely stay at home all day long. That’s depressing too. I wouldn’t get much girl talk like I do everyday with my coworkers, and a girl’s gotta vent yo! It would just be no bueno. Bottom line, my job keeps me sane. Capeesh?

So where is this all coming from? Well I read this article that I found on Facebook today, and I loved it. It made me feel good about my choice to work. But I definitely agree whole heartedly that Americans need to have a better maternity leave for woman. Most jobs, mine included, offer six weeks of unpaid maternity leave. Six weeks for you to heal from the trauma of giving birth, six weeks to bond with your baby, and six weeks to try to get that baby on a sleeping schedule so that you are not a zombie when you have to go back to work. Um… that’s not enough time! Health wise six weeks may be long enough for your body to recover from birth if everything goes smoothly. But what if it doesn’t? What if you have to have a C-section? That’s major surgery!  And what if there are other major complications? OR, what if something is wrong with your baby and they have to be in the NICU for an extended period of time? You don’t want to be worrying about your job at a time like that, but a lot of moms have to and I’m sure a lot of women have lost their jobs because of it. It’s a messed up system and one that I hope changes very soon. Women need time to heal. They need time to bond with their kiddo and reconnect with their husbands. And most importantly they need time to SLEEP! Going to a full day of work is not exactly a picnic when you have been awake all night with a screaming baby, trust me, I know!

Well, I think that sums it up for this soapbox rant. If there is ever a politician who will fight for a better maternity leave for women you can bet they will have my vote!

THE END.