The Year of Intent

Have you heard of choosing a word of intent for your year? I have a few Uzzie friends who do this. They choose one word to focus on for the entire year. People choose words like: faith, success, happiness, gratitude, etc. The idea has always intrigued me, but I hadn't ever done it. I decided to try it out this year because, why not?

To put it lightly, last year was hellish. I lost my 26 year old cousin to cancer. My aunt was diagnosed with cancer. My grandpa passed away. I faced some other very personal challenges. There was just so much sadness, so much heartache, so much loss. I am still struggling with my grandpa's death. Every once in a while it will just hit me in the gut like a sucker punch, I miss him a lot. But anyway, back to my point, not my best year. (apart from Isilee who by far was the best part of my year)

It took me a long time to choose my word. I knew I wanted a word to help me focus on being more positive, to enjoy living more, to relish the moments that I have and not take anything for granted. I thought about 'happiness' and 'joy' but to me those words represent a state of being. I wanted to pursue those feelings, so I needed more of an action word. I was googling this and that and what not, when I stumbled upon the phrase, "Delight in your day". That was it. Delight. I don't want to just enjoy my children, I wanted to DELIGHT in them. I don't want to just muddle through marriage, I want to DELIGHT in my marriage.  I don't want to just survive life, I want to DELIGHT in it.  Delight was the action word that I needed.

There is a website called My Intent Project that will actually make you a bracelet with your word inscribed on it. I knew I needed to order myself one so that I would have a constant reminder of my goal for the year, after all, I am a very forgetful person who has a lot of good intentions thrown by the wayside. (I have a stack of un-mailed thank you cards to prove it)  It may sound silly, but it has actually helped me a lot. It has become the mantra I say to myself in my head when a kiddo wakes me up at three in the morning, "Delight in your children, for they won't be little for long." I say it when I have to set an alarm and wake up early, "Delight in your day because each day you live is a blessing." I have even found myself repeating it in a busy checkout line at the grocery store, "Delight in the fact that you no longer work at the grocery store and get to go home, while this poor cashier has to deal with the angry man behind you." And yes, sometimes my mantra comes out snarky or sarcastic, but even that helps me because it makes me "delight in my sense of humor".

It is only February so my word of intent project has only been going for about a month now, but so far I am happy with the experiment. I really hate setting new year resolutions because I never accomplish them and that just makes me feel bad about myself. Having a word of intent however is easy and doable and actually seems to be working. Granted I still have my bad moments and bad days but who doesn't? This might just become a yearly thing for me, I think I like it.

An Inspirational Dancer

This is Gabe Adams. When I was in high school at Davis High his father was my seminary teacher. Brother Adams wanted his class to meet Gabe. He explained to us that the reason he did not have any limbs was because his birth mother took an abortion pill (illegal in the U.S.) while she was pregnant with Gabe. My seminary teacher had 13 kids of their own, but when they heard about Gabe, they knew they needed to adopt him. My seminary teacher shared a very spiritual experience with us- one that I don't feel right about posting over social media- but I will never in my life forget the day I met Gabe. He was then just five years old, and he was incredible. He climbed stairs with his chin, he could not only swim, but climb the stairs to the diving board and jump off. When he wasn't in his wheelchair he rolled around on the floor, maneuvering himself between the tiniest spaces. He let us all come up and touch his six pack- the kid was ripped! Pure muscle and not an ounce of fat!

It is amazing seeing him 12 years later accomplishing so much in his life. If anyone in this world has an excuse to not try scary things, it is this kid! But he doesn't let his missing limbs stop him from anything! He is such an inspiration to me. This kid is going places!!

Regionals

This past Saturday I was able to join my Uzzie buddies in SLC for the Usborne regional training. It was a day full of motivational speakers, book reveals, friends, food, laughing, encouragement, idea-sharing, and so much more! Our V.P., Heather Cobb, was able to fly in from Tulsa, and she is such an incredible, inspiring woman! She talked to us a lot about failure, and that if we are not failing in life a little, we are probably doing something wrong. As someone who is constantly feeling like a failure and trying to overcome my fear of failure, I really needed to hear this.

It was such an amazing day! During these types of things they always say that you learn more about actually working this business talking to others, and not actually during the training. And I found that to be so, so true! After the official training, 25 UBAM ladies headed over to Cracker Barrel for dinner. I got SO many great ideas from the other three woman at my table, that were personalized to me and my business. It was so refreshing to talk with them and hear about their stories with this amazing business. We helped build each other up and shared our successes and ideas. All together a very, very uplifting day! Words can't even express how happy I am to have finally found my tribe. I love these fellow book ladies. I love this business.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from that day, followed by some pictures.

My very inspirational water bottle

Heather Cobb introducing us to THE CUTEST picture book in the history of ever!!!!! 

Look how cool this pop-up garden book looks?!

Anne of Green Gables picture book? Say what??!!

The free books I got for going. Free books is the name of our game after all! 

Our new catalog! I was super excited to get my hands on this puppy! 

And last, but not least, my amazing awesome team! 

Happy People Don't Shoot Their Husbands

If you are one of those people who get annoyed at people posting about going to the gym and their workouts, then you better skip this post. (And sorry/not sorry for two gym posts in a row.)

The other day we were scrambling to get breakfast, get dressed, and get out the door to the gym. It was one of those days that Leland decided to be a snail, and my mommy patience was running low... you know those days? Normally it would be cute that he wanted to name all of the colors in his cereal bowl instead of just eating it. Or that he had to count the light bulbs in our house. Or that we put the wrong shirt on him because the monster on it was too scary. So yeah. It took what like felt FOREVER to get out of the door.

As we were driving to the gym, I turned to Justin and said, "Sorry I lost my cool. I got in a bad mood this morning, but it will be better after my workout." And then it hit me, exercising makes me happy and in a better mood.

That day I did laps in the pool. There was a spot in the water where the sun was blazing down through the window, and I floated in it, and felt the warmth on my face, and it was pure joy. A taste of summer if you will. And I walked out of the gym happy. And I was happy to be a wife. And I was happy to be a mom to a little boy who noticed the world around him and wanted to point out every little thing to me and share in his excitement for the world.

So while I think I am exercising for myself, I am actually exercising for them. Because happy people don't shoot their husbands.

My Fight Song

Being the fat girl at the gym is NOT easy. Comparison is the devil. Watching 90 year old's lap you in the pool sucks. I find myself constantly reminding myself:

• I have fibromyalgia and THEY have healthy bodies
• I have two bad knees (broke one when I was a teenager, hurt the other in my car crash)
• My anti-depressant made me gain 80+ pounds in less then a year

And then I thought.... are these reasons or excuses???

I needed a new FIGHT SONG!

So instead of my mantra being a list of my excuses, I wanted a phrase that would actually make me feel better about myself. Not the usual gym mantras like, "Just Do It", "Don't Quit" "Keep Going" "You've got this!" I needed something else. So this is the mantra that I came up with for me.....

drum roll please.....

"I'm lapping everyone on the couch!"

I may be going slower then every single person in the gym... but.... I am at the gym! I am trying! I am going! I am working! And it's time I give myself a little bit of credit for that right? I am trying really, really hard to not compare myself to miss skinny size two who is running full speed ahead at full incline on that treadmill in front of me. Instead, I am thinking, "Hey. There are people at home eating candy bars and watching Netflix and by golly, I am lapping THEM!" And that may sound really really really really lame to you, but for some reason, it brings a smile to my face every. single. time. So when I am counting down the minutes until my workout is over, I have those words pulsing through my head, and for a moment or two, I can push myself just a bit farther. 

My last workout I walked a mile and a half, biked three miles, and swam ten laps. That may seem super easy to you fitness goddesses out there, but the fact is,  I could NOT do that a month ago, and that  feels amazing! 

Pay it Forward

The other day at the library I was helping a woman who had a $1.00 fine. She handed me a ten dollar bill and asked me if I would put the extra money towards someone’s fines that really needed it because they were struggling financially or what not. She said she hadn’t done any service for the day yet and so decided that this would be her service. I was very touched by this. It sounded like she tried to do something like this at least once a day. What a great way to live right? All that she asked was that I ask the person who received the money to pay it forward in some small act of service for someone else.

A little later on a new mom came in with her three small children and a newborn in her arms. She had a substantial fine (for the library anyway) and said that she hadn’t been able to bring the books back on time because she was on bed rest and maternity leave. I decided that this would be the perfect person to give the money to. When I told her that someone had paid for her fines she was shocked and seemed so incredibly grateful. I told her that her benefactor simply asked her to do some kind of service for someone else in return. The lady said that she most definitely would and thanked me profusely, though I didn’t do anything.

I know nine dollars doesn’t seem like a big deal, but it kind of was to me. And I’m sure it was to the woman who received it. It inspired her and all of the librarians to do something kind and pay it forward. I want to live like this generous woman. I may not have a lot of excess money, but I can do small things. She made me want to pay it forward, and I hope this story makes you want to too!